Friday, December 20, 2002

I finally got a haircut this morning. That's not interesting at all, is it?

I found myself doing a search on Google for the Cheeky Girls. Yes, it's finally happened: I'm officially insane.

I dug out volumes 20 and 21 from under my bed for inspiration (actually I was looking for something interesting to steal for my blog since I've suddenly taken leave of my senses) and read over entries from the past four Christmases. I found nothing to inspire me; it was all too depressing.

There's a basement window only a few feet away from where I'm sitting now; it's one of those sunken things that's about two-and-half feet below ground and mainly serves as a trap for frogs and toads. This morning while I sat at my computer I heard something big crash down into the window. I got up and looked and there was a humongous squirrel that went berserk when it saw me. It shot up vertically out of the window and disappeared. No doubt it's terrorizing other parts of the neighborhood by now.

Yet another person hit my blog after searching Google for the "worst christmas song". I did a search on this myself to see if anyone else had fingered "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)", but I never saw it. Why don't people know the true unspeakable horror of this song? It's mawkish and stomach-turning, just the thing for your holiday misery session. I really need to get the word out about this song, it's far worse than the dogs barking "Jingle Bells" or "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Far, far worse, because "Please Daddy" isn't supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be heart warming. God, I hate this song!

I really need to start forcing myself to punctuate my sentences in the accepted American way. Notice how I put my periods and commas outside the quotation marks. That's a big no-no in the US version of Edited Standard English. I have absolutely no idea why I started doing it the British way years and years ago, but I prefer doing that way because it's more logical, and it's become such an ingrained habit I do it automatically. I hate putting the punctuation inside the quotes unless the punctuation was part of the original quote because it doesn't make any sense. It actually irritates me that putting the punctuation inside the quotation marks is the correct way of doing it here. And I know for a fact that it irritates some writers that some people put the punctuation on the outside of the quotation marks. Maybe I should hold a contest and challenge all English majors in the US to give me a logical reason why the US way is the right way and every single English speaking person outside of the US is wrong. The prize in the contest will be my toenail collection.

See what happens when I can't think of anything to write about.


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