A few minutes ago I was watching Top of the Pops on that embarrassing travesty of a channel known as BBC America, and heard what is, I believe, the stupidest song ever recorded: "Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)". That godawful tuneless horror is still stuck in my head. Thankfully this slapped together morass will never be a hit in the US because we don't call bottoms bums, we call them butts. To most Americans, bums are hobos or filthy homeless guys. "Cheeky Song (Touch My Hobo)"? Nah, it wouldn't exactly go over well here.

I should've just muted the TV and enjoyed the display of magnificently pert bottoms, but I didn't. Maybe next time I'll learn. I should stop watching Top of the Pops, that's what I should do.