Friday, December 31, 2004

Good riddance, 2004

I certainly hope 2005 is better than 2004.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Codex Seraphinianus

My sister came down for Christmas and brought her copy of Luigi Serafini's Codex Seraphinianus. I hadn't seen a copy of this book since the 80's when my sister checked out the two volume edition from her college library. She finally broke down and bought a copy earlier this year. It's the single volume Franco Maria Ricci edition from the early 90's. Exquisitely weird. I have to get my hands on a copy of this book, but I dont really want to spend $250-plus to get it.

Holiday heck

Ugh, the holidays are over. Well, almost. That whole New Year's thing is still around the corner. Anyway, most of the main holiday chaos is over.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Festive feh

I'm going to use Christmas as an excuse not to post for the next few days. We don't even celebrate Christmas anymore. Nope. Every year since '97 we sacrifice a goat to Odin and dance naked around a bonfire. It's keen.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

What the hell?

Over the past couple of years I've written about how many hits I get for mongolian porn. I get them all the time. In fact, I get them so regularly that I don't write about it anymore or even think about that much. Well, until recently. A few days ago someone left a comment at this entry from last year: "Yes. We are only 3 million mongolians in my country. People can not act so open." A real Mongolian? I have gotten a surprisingly large number of hits from Mongolia. Anyway, for the first time in a long time, I decided to search Google for mongolian porn.

The number one hit is an article at Arkansas Traveler, the student newspaper at the University of Arkansas. (Unfortunately registration is required to actually read the article, but you can bypass that by hitting the article through the Google search for mongolian porn.)

The article's about spam filters that target Korean porn spam. The writer brings up some good points, but then it gets really interesting (at least to me):
Is this really an epidemic? Have you been receiving Korean pornography? I haven't--where's mine? I might enjoy it. And I'm not alone in that. Strictly for the purposes of research, I found 207,000 "Korean Porn" Web sites in .13 seconds. And it's as obvious as "Koreanhardcore.com" or "Hotkoreangirls.com."

Next, how does this piece of software know the difference between Korean pornography, and, let's say, Mongolian pornography? That's something you never hear about: Mongolian porn.

Again, strictly in the name of scholarly research, I scoured the Internet and oddly enough found a Web site, www.volume22.blogspot.com. It was created by a guy who also Googled for "Mongolian Porn," didn't find any, and so set up his own Web site so other people looking for obscure smut could finally get a hit.

Yep, that's the only reason I set up this blog and maintained it for over two years: so people looking for obscure smut could finally get a hit.

Anyway, what he was referring to was this entry from Jan. 17, 2003 where I wrote, "I got a hit early this morning from someone looking for Israeli porn. That'll be my niche, obscure porn of the world. I can't wait until I get a hit for Mongolian porn. It'll happen, trust me." This is what's known on Earth as a joke.

Cold!

Why is it so damn cold? Oh, yeah, it's winter. Yesterday, I got up and looked at the temperature and it was eleven degrees. That's Fahrenheit, not centigrade. We're not used to that kind of cold down here. It was even too cold to spend more than a few minutes online, since my computer's in the coldest room of the house. So I spent the whole day under a blanket on the couch. I plan on doing the same today, even though today it's probably thirty degrees outside.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

No, no! A thousand times, no!

"The purpose of ClownResourceDirectory.com is to share, educate, and act as a gathering place for people, who want to be clowns."

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

News you can't possibly use

Breaking news! There's a drunken moose alert in southern Norway. So stay the hell out of southern Norway if you can.

Folklore?

With a URL like Folklore.org you'd think they'd have lots of...you know, folklore, but, oddly, it appears to be mainly tons of stories about the original Macintosh.

1-2-3-4!!

The arizona hardcore punk rock flyer archive 1982-1984 has darn near a gazillion gig flyers from bands like Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Minutemen, Husker Du, etc.

The ugly internet

The Browser Emulator lets you look at websites using emulations of a variety of ancient web browsers like NCSA Mosiac, Hot Java, and early versions of Netscape and IE.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Les Femmes au Pinocchio

I don't quite understand Pinocchia.com. It's lots of pictures of beautiful women with Pinocchio noses added with Photoshop. Apparently it's a fetish site. [Safe for work? Search me.]

Groundhogs

There's a big groundhog that I see occasionally hanging around in the backyard. I'd love to have it for a pet, but that's unlikely. Imagine sitting on the couch with a nice big groundhog curled up in your lap. No?

The best groundhog website I've seen is HogHaven. Make sure your speakers are on.

Holiday Wookiees

Last week I downloaded the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special that originally aired in late November 1978. (I got it off the Shareaza network, and it took forever since I'm on dial-up.)

George Lucas reportedly wants this travesty banned, which is understandable considering how bad it is. The first twenty minutes are nothing but untranslated Wookiee jibber-jabber. Seriously.

I thought it would be humorously bad, but it's not really. Other than the occasional bizarre moment that makes you wonder just how much drugs everyone was taking, it's just boring and/or embarrassing.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Odd audio

Clay's Oddities Wav Page has a bunch of .wav files of various strange things like scary fundamentalist preachers saying stupid things, a drunk John Wayne giving a speech, and a dumb (and very unlucky) guy trapped in a phone booth calling 911 for help.

An observation

Why is it that the cars on the street with the loudest, most hot-rodded exhaust systems are invariably the slowest damn vehicles on the street? And why are they almost always in front of me?

Dang it!

I was at a thrift store this morning and saw an old accordion for $35. It was a small one, maybe a foot high. Of course I didn't have $35, but, more importantly, I don't have a job, nor do I know how to play an accordion. But I want it!

Monday, December 06, 2004

Story time!

I wish these deranged childrens' books actually existed; we need them now more than ever.

Update: This link doesn't work anymore. I think the owners were getting too much traffic, so they're now denying everyone access.

Huh?

A few days ago I was watching TV and a during a commercial for Citi, there was some familiar music playing. Then it hit me, it was The Feelies, of all people. The song: "Slow Down" from their 1986 album, The Good Earth (which I have on vinyl).

Of course none of you know what I'm talking about, so I'll stop here.

Do they even pay attention?

Saturday afternoon I was watching a documentary about children with a rare genetic disorder called progeria that causes them to rapidly age and have to suffer the same types of things people in their 70's-90's face. During a commercial break, there was an ad for Oil of Olay. The voiceover mentioned things like how it would make your skin look younger. To put it mildly, I was shocked they would let such an appalling juxtaposition occur. Do they even pay attention to what commercials run during various programs? It's almost as bad as seeing weight loss commercials during a program about a famine.

Mundane

I'm back to blogging. I feel better, but but not substantially so.