Yesterday while perusing a few blogs I don't usually peruse (excessive perusing is too taxing to my fragile psyche), I came upon a veiled reference to my favorite bizarre 1970's toy: Hugo.

Oh, how to describe the freakishness of Hugo to people too young, too old, or too British to know just what the hell I'm ranting about? Well, to put it simply, Hugo was basically a hand puppet for disturbed children. Training for future mad scientists. It was a bald man with no eyebrows (he looked kind of like Mini Me from the Austin Powers movies), and you were supposed to glue things to his head like warts, sores, stitched-up cuts, bad eyes, facial hair, wig, etc. The glue came in sticks and was the color of ear wax.

I got my Hugo for Christmas one year. How many hours did I spend happily gluing warts and sores to this thing? It was enjoyable until the glue got too thick on the warts and other bits. You were supposed to clean the glue off everything, but what seven year old has the time and patience for such nonsense? Over time the warts and things got lint and hair stuck to them.

Eventually I just destroyed Hugo like most of my other toys. But for a few years afterwards, on occasion, I'd find one of the warts in a box or under my bed.