I was over at Submit Response (for the first time) and found a link to Ubu Web, which I'd seen before and completely forgotten about. Ubu Web has lots of information on things like concrete poetry, conceptual writing, etc. But forget all of that; go there because they have .mp3's of Kurt Schwitters and Marcel Duchamp.

1. What would you do if you picked a booger out of your nose that looked like Abraham Lincoln?
Well, I guess I'd keep it for posterity and maybe even put it on display. If its popularity rose I'd send it on tour, but these days there's little interest in such things. I blame rap music.

2. If you were stranded naked on a desert on an island ruled by a race of giant superintelligent woodchucks, would you agree to mate with any of them?
Well, duh, of course I would.

3. Does it bother you that much of the mail you get has been licked by people you've never even met?
I try not to dwell on it.

4. Feathers or antlers?
I'd have to say antlers.

5. Imagine you're six years old. You've just woken up from a nap and you realize the house is empty. You search the house, but can't find anyone. You begin to get frightened and scream out, "Mommy! Mommy!" Then your middle-aged next-door neighbor, Mr. McClenachan, bursts through the front door completely naked screaming, "I'm your mommy now!"
That wasn't even a question.