Sunday, March 16, 2008

Of dongs and things

Like every single person on earth with email access, I get stupid penis enlargement spam. Recently, I got some with fairly strange wording. I don't think it was done entirely to foil spam filtering either; it was probably because it was written by people who don't know English that well. Or at least I hope that's the explanation. A few of my favorite examples are reproduced below (with unhelpful commentary added by me).

Your member on some centimeters becomes thicker!
Only on some centimeters? Not all of them? That's no good.

Pullulate your copulation organ with loads of inches running on the supreme therapeutics.
Frankly, that sounds a little frightening to me. Also, painful.

Do not let ladies prefer dildo to you!
I'd like to see a dildo be witty. Damn dildos! I just can't compete.

Enlarge your manhood today and reap all the benefits.
These benefits, are they monetary?

Men always would like, that at them all was more, than at others.
Couldn't said it better if I tried.

If the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the size of the member - he dissembles
He dissembles his member after speaking to me? Um...

Know her from the sexual side how is she inside exactly.
Exactly! What?

Your sexual member will lose confusing curvature and it becomes ideal by a straight line!
Often in intimate moments the confusing curvature of my member is pointed out to me. Thankfully they're not laughing, but that's probably because they're so confused what will the curvature and all.

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