Friday, July 04, 2008

But is it art?

Yesterday after work, while moping around the internet looking for signs of life, I found myself at Ebay perusing the "Weird Stuff" category. Oddly, despite my deep and abiding interest in weird stuff, I rarely look at Ebay's selection. Most of the stuff wasn't what I'd call weird (so maybe that's why I never look at it), but an abstract painting caught my eye. The artist had apparently painted it using her breasts. Now I was interested.

The painting didn't really impress me that much, but I loved the description of how it was painted.
The paint is applied directly to my breasts, which are then pressed onto the canvas. This process is repeated several times, using different color combinations, until I like the final composition. This series is intended to be intimate, whimsical, and fun (and an interesting conversation piece). This is a 100% original creation that was painted entirely with my (real) breasts.
Please don't bother asking for photos from the painting process. I am a real collectible artist with real knowledge of color & composition. My feedback and the photos speak for themselves.
Then I scrolled down the page and saw a photo of the artist wearing a skimpy top that showed off her enormous knockers. Yep, that's art.

Her Ebay store has many more paintings, and most seem to be done by mashing her paint-covered boobs on a canvas (or whatever she paints on). She also has a website with more descriptions of her painting technique. Also she has paintings done by her turtle. Yes. A turtle. That paints.

Anyway, the interesting thing about all of this to me is that basically only a reasonably attractive woman with biggish boobs could get away with this. A guy definitely couldn't do it. Who would buy a painting done by a guy using his dick? I'm sure someone would (and probably already has), but they just wouldn't be as the artist said above, "whimsical, and fun (and an interesting conversation piece)". Nope. It would be icky, creepy, and totally messed up.

So, as an experiment, I drew an abstract piece using only my penis. Yes, really. You don't want to know the details, just trust me.

Do we have any bidders? No? Thank god.

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