Since I hadn't driven anywhere in almost two weeks, I decided to actually leave the property this morning. The problem was I had nowhere to go. After I left the gas station, I headed into town. I had no idea where I was going. (I should warn you up front that nothing of interest happened. Sorry.) The first thing I noticed as drove along was that it seemed everyone on the streets was insanely angry. One guy slammed on breaks in front of me to yell at the guy who'd cut him off. Or at least I think that's what was going on; they may have just been having a conversation, because, after all, this is a town of morons.

I headed straight into the bowels of the inferno itself, Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has everything--except what I was looking for (a replacement drawer handle). I try to avoid this store like the plague, but it keeps luring me back with a siren song promising huge bargains. And each and every time I end up dashed upon the rocks. Stupid-ass redneck hell-hole.

Since I had to go to the bathroom I decided to head home, but instead I ended up at Goodwill digging through old books (an activity I rank above food, sleep, and masturbation). Oddly, I found eight or nine old volumes in Danish. Danes? In a jerkwater hillbilly town with a population of less than 60,000? But then I once found a bunch of old books in Swedish, and I've also found books in Russian, Greek, Portuguese, Spanish, French, Korean, German, Italian, Chinese, Finnish, Dutch, Japanese, Polish, and Afrikaans in this same store, so I shouldn't be surprised. (Why do I always have such relish when digging through the foreign language books? I can't read any of them.)

And then I went home. The end. See, I told you nothing happened, but still you read on. Why? Why?!