Tuesday, April 15, 2008

9 to 5

Today at work, someone showed me the dull photos they took at Dollywood last week. The only remotely interesting pictures in the stack was a series of a parade where Dolly Parton herself was riding on a float. I wondered how often the parade was. For all I know it was scheduled multiple times a day, multiple times a week. I couldn't imagine living a theme park named after me and being the main attraction of a regular parade. What would that do to a person's mind? I began to imagine Dolly Parton as a Saddam Hussein or Kim Jong Il type figure.

If you're going to have your own theme park, then why not let it degenerate into a totalitarian personality cult? Why not let it go even farther? Imagine a cult where Dolly Parton is worshipped as some kind of fertility goddess. After the daily parades there would be orgies and human sacrifices.

This all made much more sense at work, but then most things do when you're bored out of your cotton-picking mind.

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