Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam

My spam for the most part is the usual stuff: penis-enlargement, prescription drugs, fake Rolexes, weight loss, stock tips, diploma mills, etc. Lately though I've gotten a few interesting ones, mainly from Eastern Bloc spammers catering to my baser needs:

My name is kourtney. I found your email on that dating site.
I also love sex on the side. I have a loving partner but he is working 16 hours a day and we have sex only once a week :(
If you are interested and wanna see my pictures just email me at ckourtney51@fakeassemail.info
Don`t reply, use the email above (my boyfriend doesn`t know about that email!)

A recent spam touting some vague business opportunity ended in the following bewildering fashion:

Sorry if this was sent to you by mistake as we were told you are someone interested in this type of thing.

Now worries send me back a email letting me know you wish no more.

But today I got perhaps the greatest spam I've ever read:

If you are a lesbian and you can't find your better half, if you lack attention and love, if you can't find understanding with other girls and you want to change your life, please, read this. Now you have a fantastic chance to start your new life, saving from all your problems and hang-ups.

If you want to - Change your life;
- Save from your problems and hang-ups;
- Become more sexually attractive for other girls;
- Meet more beautiful women, without any problems;
- Grab all the attention;
- Increase your self-confidence;
- Get approached by another lezzies far more often;
- Make a fantastic impression every day and hour - You have a chance to do this now!

Alpha-Pheromone perfume - it is a unique way to change your life. It is a perfume for sexual attraction of humans of the opposite sex. Now, we propose you an excellent possibility to order Alpha-Pheromone perfume to attract lesbians! You will forget all your problems with your single life! Buying Alpha-Pheromone perfume, you will open new prospects for your intimate and everyday life.

And they ever have a website.

Damn, it's really too bad I'm not a lesbian or I'd be all over that like stink on an ape. But perhaps that's a poor choice of words.