Here, my dear

All my worries are over. I've struck it rich! Look at this email I just got:

Hello Dear,

I know you don't not know me in person, however I will want you to bear with me after reading my mail and be of good assistance to me. Of which you know bad people in this world has made us not to trust the good once again, but i really want you to trust me, because i always like truth and honesty in anything i am doing, and let truth and honesty be our watch word in this transaction.
For your information, my name is Mr. Ken Samuel , i am working in a Bank here in Côte D'Ivoire as the remittance director of our Bank. Be informed that i am writing you this proposal in regards to a trust transfer of the sum of $6,500,000 ( Six Million Five Hundren Thousand Dollars) That was deposited by one Late Dr. Richard Ahmend. And since he died nobody has come for the claims of the fund, so that is why i am writing you this proposal as the remittance director of our Bank, in order for you to make claims of the fund as a New Appointed Beneficiary to Late Dr. Richard Ahmend.
In addition, there is no risk in this transaction, all i need from you is for you to help me with a trustworthy account where i am going to transfer the fund into, and once the fund gets into your account, i am going to give you the sum of 30% for your assistance. So if you have agree to help me, do not fail to get back to me, in order for me to give you the full details on how the fund will be transferred into your account without any problem.

Best Regards,
Mr.Ken Samuel.

Wait, why'd he call me Dear?

I haven't gotten one of these 419 scam emails in a long time. I wish I'd kept the ones I've gotten in the past. They're little works of art. Stupid art, yes, but still art.

It speaks volumes of my terminal boredom that I'm considering writing this assclown back. Maybe I should hook him up with one of those slutty Russian girls who keep sending me spam. It'll be a head-on collision of dumbass.

Update 4/25/07: He never did write me back. Jackass.