Remember last month (or whenever) when I was going on about this new better paying job I might get? No? Well, just play along and pretend you know what the hell I'm talking about. I decided not to take the job. Actually, I made this decision a couple of weeks ago, but just never got around to mentioning it here because I'm wracked with sloth. I toured the place and saw the horrible jobs on offer and just couldn't see myself doing them for any length of time without shooting myself. It's like Dante's Inferno in there. And I messed up my lower back around the same time basically doing nothing. There's heavy lifting on this job and I'd end up in traction after a few hours of schlepping heavy crap. Oh, and they have twelve hour shifts. I'll pass.
So, in lieu of a life of toil and misery, I've decided to give up regular work altogether and follow my dream of becoming a clown. I'll rent myself out to children's parties and the like. My name will be Fuzzy-Nuts the Clown.