Saturday, August 04, 2007

The internet scares me

It's that time again. My file of stupid, scary, and perverted search requests people have actually used to blunder across my tedious blog has grown quite large. So here's the latest batch for you to use as nightmare fodder.

belt spankings for tough guys
A volume that will never be selected for Oprah's book club.

how to shoot downhill
I find this one completely bewildering.

X-ray machine exorcist
I have all of their albums, but the early stuff is best.

big ass blogspot gallery
This is what my next blog will be.

jaunty penis pics
Jaunty? What, are they wearing little hats or something?

little flaky things on your penis
Not on my penis, thank you very much.

root beer barrel nipples
Hey, check out the root beer barrel nipples on that chick!

spanking machine story
Once long ago in a land far away there was a man who owned a spanking machine. He was a very lonely man.

rube porno
So, it's like porno featuring slack-jawed yokels?

illegal Bikini
It's made out of human skin.

goodyear blimp peeing out window from blimps
Are you looking for news stories about peeing out of the window of the Goodyear blimp, porno about peeing out of the window of the Goodyear blimp, or instructions on how to pee out of the window of the Goodyear blimp?

"the gecko" sexual position
Just don't try the Geico sexual position.

sherry and jay porn
You spelled Sherri wrong. Heh-heh.

does getting staples out of scalp hurt
I would have to say yes.

ordering from spam e mail drugs penis account
Penis account?

lizard flim
I have nothing to add to this.

image of a big spammed bird
Hunters using Spam as a method of hunting? Are they firing it out of a cannon?

i wanked in front of my school teacher
And she gave you an F.

japanese extreme porn food
I'm not eating that.

chinese person with stitches in the head
Why specifically Chinese? No, don't tell me, I don't care anymore.

are there any famous people who swear by colon cleansing?
Of course! Didn't you know that one of the best kept secrets to sucess is colon cleansing?

1950's enema photos
Sorry, my vast collection of enema photos doesn't go back that far. Weirdo.

how do porn stars clean their colon
I think I saw a program on the Discovery channel about this.

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