Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Monday morning I found myself in Wal-Mart yet again. (I've been getting film developed there because it's so damn cheap.) As I was cutting through the grocery section, I saw the black bag of the new mysterious Doritos X-13D. I'd seen these before and been curious, but this morning I impulsively grabbed a bag. I thought, "How bad can they be?" Well, pretty bad, as it turns out.
When I got home I popped one in my mouth and was immediately hit with a nasty-ass wall of nastiness. What is that, I thought. Pickle? Mustard? It's MUSTARD! It's a thirty yard high wall of mustard! I hate mustard. It took forever to get the taste out of my mouth.
I looked online to see what everyone else was saying about this misguided snack food. The most opinions I saw were in the comments of some kind of gaming blog. Oddly, most of the hundred or so commenters liked this abomination. And most of them said it tasted like a hamburger (specifically a fast food one) with pickles, ketchup, mustard, etc. on it. I didn't grow up eating all that crap on my hamburgers, so it's no surprise that I don't want gobs of toxic mustard stank on my tortilla chips.
Apparently they're having a contest to give these things a name. I suggest Vomitos.