Saturday, May 27, 2006


Since I've fallen into a bottomless pit of work-related misery and have the energy of a drugged tree sloth, I haven't been blogging much. My job sucks, but it doesn't even suck in an interesting way. Don't hold your breath for wacky posts about how stupid things are at work. So in lieu of actual content, here's my latest collection of stupid search requests that people baffled by the internet have used to blunder across my tedious blog:

free latin porn without popups
I'm pretty sure they were looking for porn featuring folk from Central and South America, but I like to imagine they were looking for porn in Latin, because nothing says arousing like a dead language.

cat smash through window
Just when you thought Fluffy couldn't be any more annoying.

tickling vagina clips
Movie clips or clips that would actually tickle one's vagina? But you'd think clips would pinch rather than tickle. OK, I've dwelled on this far too long already.

hee haw women doing
This searcher doesn't care just what the Hee Haw women are doing, just that they're doing something: movies, yard work, hard time, etc. It doesn't matter as long as they're keeping busy.

"wanking in front of"
Wanking in front of anything: cars, elephants, bricks, trees, Communism, tropical fish, lawn furnature, etc. The searcher doesn't care as long as someone is wanking in front of something.

good teacher porn clips lengthy and free
I never had a teacher that good.

free foreskin sites with photos
I don't want a free foreskin!

man wanking in front of computer
Well, at least he wasn't wanking in front of a dehumidfier. Or something like that.

does going to the toilet relieve stress
For me it does. Unless someone's in there and then my stress increases.

pee shy successful medication
See above.

uk wanking blogs
The searcher isn't interested in wanking blogs from any other lousy country.

Honey Bun robbery
Was a honey bun stolen in the robbery or used to perform the robbery?

eel barrel
More fun than a barrel of eels!

toilet lid cartoon
A cartoon about a toilet lid or a cartoon on a toilet lid?

undulate paragraph
I hope this is a new feature in Word.

john wayne autopsies
More than one?

english majors are stupid annoying
Possibly, but I'm not comfortable with gross generalizations.

"shoot a woman in the ass"
I really have no idea.

invented the spanking
Sadly, we'll never know.

What is going on in Iceland now reffering to the headlines of articles in the newspaper.
This just in: People in Iceland speak a language called Icelandic.

bubblegum blowing porn
Talk about your lame fetishes. Somewhere out there a person is desperately searching Yahoo for "cuddling porn" or "non nude porn".

enema horror stories
Get a mop!

photos of kids 11-12 with shaved heads
Hmmm... Pervert or a kid looking for photos to show his parents? ("See, Mom. There's kids my age with shaved heads!")