Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Don't stand too close to a naked man holding a sword

Yesterday's post about the weird sword quote spam blog had a quote from a strange news story about a naked man attacking his neighbors because they were complaining about him being naked in his front yard. I couldn't get the image out of my head and so I had to search out the original article:
Naked man threatens neighbors with sword

March 1, 2005

NORTH LIBERTY, Iowa -- A man threatened his neighbors with a sword after they complained about him being naked in his front yard, police said. Curtis D. Rarick, 44, was charged with assault while displaying a dangerous weapon.

Rarick had been naked in his yard and became angry when neighbors asked him to put clothes on Sunday afternoon, police said.

He went inside and came back out with a 2 1/2-feet long sword and began threatening the neighbors, court records show.

He was released from jail Monday after posting $2,000 bond

If convicted, Rarick could face up to two years in jail and a $5,000 fine.

A preliminary hearing is scheduled for March 7.
I think this story is basically the story of America. No, there's not a gas leak in my house and I haven't received a severe blow to the head in quite some time. Let me explain. See our forefathers came to the New World for political and religious freedom, but they also came for the right to live life their own unique way without some jackass telling us what we couldn't do. OK, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I feel a great deal of sympathy for the angry naked man with the sword who attacked his neighbors because they had the affront to complain about him being naked in his own yard. It's not like he was walking around naked in their yard. Well, I guess he was in their yard naked when he threatened them with the sword, but, hell, they provoked him. Who among us hasn't felt the urge to walk around their yard naked? Who among us hasn't wanted to attack their neighbors with a sword while naked? Am I the only one? Really?

Anyway, it's an fascinating tale with much to teach us.

While searching Google for this story, I came across this:

Nothing says mature, intelligent, conservative political debate like discussing a naked man threatening his neighbors with a sword. They probably said it was Clinton's fault.

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