Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Please kill me

My computer's over four and a half years old. It works, but it's a bit long in the tooth and I wanted to get a new one. Some of you have been around long enough to remember what happened the last time I tried to buy a computer. Surely, nothing bad would happen if I bought a computer now.

I searched over a period of several months for a suitable replacement machine. For a while there I planned on buying my first Mac, but then decided against it because Macs are just too expensive. Even their cheapest model is too damn expensive. $400 and you don't even a get a keyboard or mouse? Bite me, Steve Jobs. Apple's clearly only interested in selling to yuppies. So decided to get another crappy Windows system (that I could run Linux on).

But do I get a Vista system or an XP system? Since I'd been using XP for over four and a half years, I wanted something new, but Vista had a lot of bad press. And do I get a desktop system or a laptop?

But enough of this palaver. Last week I ordered a refurbished HP laptop with Vista on it for $550. Yesterday, much to my surprise, the thing was waiting for me after I got home from work. My first new laptop!

Vista was kind of annoying, but I could use it just fine. Quickly I was wireless on the couch! Watching streaming video! And it wasn't even porn! Then the fucking thing conked out.

After a reboot I was informed by a very irate Vista that I'd shut the computer down wrong. Later it conked out again. And again. It didn't matter if it was running off batter power or plugged into the wall; the thing would just die. So I bought a lemon.

Right now it's in the hands of UPS. I sincerely hope they back a truck over it or something. Or accidentally fling it into a wood-chipper.

Who knows how long I'm going to have to wait for a replacement. Or even if I'll get a replacement. My luck they'll check it out and it will work perfectly. Then they'll just send it back.

The lesson I learned? Don't get out of bed. Ever. Better yet, go live in a cave and reject society altogether.

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