Sunday, August 06, 2006


Because I have no life at all, I went through the Zane Grey novel I mentioned below and found every mention of ejaculation. (And, yes, I used Word's Find function to do it. I'm certainly not doing it manually.)
"A-huh! ejaculated Anson, dubiously.

"Milt Dale, you'll come down here an' work out that fifty head of sheep!" ejaculated the old rancher, incredulously.

"Well!" ejaculated Helen, contritely, half sorry, half amused. "What a sudden young gentleman!"

"Make off with me?" ejaculated Helen, bewildered.

"Gee!" ejaculated Bo. "He looks like a devil. But I'd tackle him -- if you think I could."

"Broke in!" ejaculated Bo, with a little laugh. "I'm all broke UP now."

"Me! Where'd I ever see any girls?" ejaculated Dale. "I remember some when I was a boy, but I was only fourteen then. Never had much use for girls."

"Doggone the luck!" ejaculated Roy, red in the face, as he worked the lever of his rifle. "Never could shoot downhill, nohow!"

"A-huh!" ejaculated Bo. Then she rolled over, not without groans, and, once upon her face, she raised herself on her hands and turned to a sitting posture.

"Under the sea!" ejaculated Helen.

"Bo's followin' the hound!" ejaculated Dale. And, lifting his hands to his mouth, he sent out a stentorian yell that rolled up the slope, rang against the cliffs, pealed and broke and died away.

"Dale, it's thet damn cougar!" he ejaculated.

"Spring!" ejaculated Auchincloss. Then he shook his head sadly and a far-away look filmed his eyes. "Reckon you'd call some late."

"Dotty! Me? Dotty!" ejaculated Auchincloss. Then he swore. "In a minit I'll tell you what you are."

"Wal, I'll be doggoned!" ejaculated Roy, feelingly.

"Wal, the half-breed son-of-a-greaser!" ejaculated Carmichael, in utter confoundment. "He wanted you to marry him!"

"Lung trouble!" ejaculated John. "With thet chest, an' up in this air? . . . Get out!"

"An' let her shoot!" ejaculated Anson, nodding his long head. "Me, too!"

"Thet's the kid sister of the woman I wanted!" he ejaculated.

"Shot his lamp out!" ejaculated Moze.

"Busted!" ejaculated Anson, with a curse, as he slammed down his cards. "If I ain't hoodooed I'm a two-bit of a gambler!"

"She wasn't there!" ejaculated Anson, in wondering awe.

"One man!" he ejaculated.
That's twenty-three ejaculations, far more than the average porno movie (not counting bukkake videos). Not even a Henry Miller novel has this many erruptions.

It's kind of sad Zane Grey didn't have the use of Find and Replace. But even without a high tech tool you'd think he'd have noticed what a rut he was in with his language.

(And I still haven't finished this novel, by the way. I was going to try an knock the rest of it off this weekend, but I decided to spend my waking hours online and the rest of my time happily unconscious.)

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