Ugh

It begins! Actually, it begins tomorrow. But tomorrow will be here in less than six hours and I'll be at work. So I doubt there will be much if any working on it since I'll be too busy and miserable. It'll have to wait until after work. I'll be fresh as a daisy when I wake up tomorrow afternoon. A freshly stomped daisy.

And speaking of work, it's gotten excruciating lately. The guy I worked with decided to just stop coming to work, so that means I have to do everything now. My job is mainly doing stuff on the computer in the office, but with no one to help me, I have to move nasty, dust-covered crap out in the warehouse too. The stuff also has to be reboxed, relabeled, etc. It's gotten really anal and bureaucratic all of a sudden. And I think I'm going to have to start wearing my steel-toed boots again since I spend most of the night in the warehouse and have a knack for running over parts of my feet with the pallet jack.

Sweet Mother of God, What Have I Done?

Last year, Sherri took part in NaNoWriMo and actually wrote a novel (which I read). She told me that I'd do it next year. (Apparently I had no choice in the matter.) Well, I planned on doing it, I really did, but work dragged me into the depths of misery and apathy, so I decided not to do it. I felt guilty about deciding not to do it, but since I was running out of time, I really didn't feel too bad. And then suddenly last night I decided to do it. So I signed up. Now I have to write a 50,000 word draft in a goddamn month. That month starts in a little over a week. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to write about. Plus, I'm illiterate!

I'm counting on all four of my regular readers to heap abuse on me (I mean more abuse than normal) if I fail.

Euphemisms

I love euphemisms, but even more than euphemisms, I love phrases that sound like euphemisms when taken out of context. Yesterday morning I was watching a cooking show and the host was cooking Halloween themed fair. One item was a large cheeseball thing made up to look like a goblin. As she prepared it, she said something like, "Now I need to frost my goblin." Naturally, I've thought of little else since.

Damn Norwegians!

Why is the above crummy photo I took a couple of years ago now on the website for some Norwegian radio station?

Oddly, I also found another photo of the same Black Sabbath promo 45 that's very similar to mine.

Exciting, no? No.

Palpable stupidity

Since I can barely function on even the most basic levels these days, I can't come up with a proper blog post. So that means I have to fall back on my old standby, stupid crap from my referrer logs:

undersized porn
Just how undersized? Would I need a magnifying glass?

grow a gigantic schlong
You mean like in a pot or an acquarium or something?

goth elder
My sister's an elderly goth. Does that help?

pressure on whoopie cushions
Such is the stressful life of the whoopie cushion.

what insides of male nipple
Magic!

"spanking machine"build plans
Uh-oh. No good can come from this.

how do bodyperks stay in place?
Duct tape and plenty of it. [Obligatory link to Bodyperks.]

can i brush my dogs teeth after being sprayed by a skunk in the face?
After the dog's been sprayed in the face by a skunk or after you've been sprayed? I can't think brushing a dog's teeth would be a big concern after it's been sprayed in the face by a skunk and if I got sprayed in the face by a skunk I'm not brushing any damn thing.

porno nazi comics -movie -gay -hentai -anime -film
If you find these, please let me know. Seriously.

largest nipple on record female
You just need this information for research, right? Sure. Heh. But seriously, if you find out, can you let me know? It's for research. Heh.

enema horror
The most infamous of the 1950's EC Comics titles.

Men and women making whoopie
Here's a possible reason why it's not a good idea to teach really old people how to use the internet.

wanking in front
Beats the heck out of wanking in back. Or something.

sister enema explain orgasm
I'd rather not hear that explanation if you don't mind.

making hair crunched without any wavy in hair
Please, no wavy in hair! Just crunched!

edible furniture
But if you eat it, where are you going to sit?

huge cocktube
I have nothing to say here except that cocktube is now my favorite word.

bald spot no luck dating
I'd say something witty, but I'm too busy mouring my bald, dateless head.

videos of bastard men ejaculating
You bastard! Look what you just did!

freedom of ass
There's nothing like the freedom of ass!

i ejaculated at a urinal
Probably not something you should say on a first date. Or ever.

Groan, mumble...

I haven't been posting because I haven't felt like writing (or doing anything else). So instead, enjoy this charming photo I stole off Metafilter of a little girl and her opossum.