Four of Them?

Yesterday I dreamed that some women had four breasts. I don't mean that on rare occasions some women had extra mammary glands; I mean that while most women have two breasts, a smaller (but still significant) amount of women had four.

At one point in the dream I wondered what kind bras they wore. Did they wear one strapped one and then a strapless one below? Or maybe they wore some kind of four-cupped garment. Also, I tried to recall seeing four-boobed women in girlie magazines, but couldn't. Then I woke up. Thankfully.

For the record, I think two are enough.

Ain't Pretty No More

Yesterday I mentioned that I was worried about my favorite dollar store after a fire burned up some of the stores near it. Today I went over and had a look. The dollar store lives!



It was separated from the fire by one large store and was unharmed. They were even open for business and I bought some crap. Too bad I can't say the same for the utterly destroyed Beauty Land and the check cashing place.

With all those hair care products and stuff, Beauty Land must've went up like an ammo dump.

Update 1/31/09: I know this is of interest to absolutely no one, but here's a new article and a pretty cool slideshow.

Oh, crap!

The dollar store where I buy my dodgy foreign toothpaste may have been damaged by a fire.

It's a couple of stores down from the two mentioned in the article I linked to above. (There's also a video on the site which I tried to embed, but it didn't work because life sucks a huge donkey dick.) I'll have to stop by tomorrow and have a look. And I'll have to remember to bring my camera.

Chanting Thingy

I got this in the mail today from Hong Kong. It cost all of four bucks with shipping.

In a world gone mad, random crap is my only source of comfort

The photo below shows my latest Ebay purchase. Seriously. After I got home from work today there was a package waiting for me containing a used tube of Chapstick, two Vick's DayQuil capsules (with pseudoephedrine, which is a pain to find now that the Feds think everyone has a meth lab in their backyard), a .45 caliber bullet, and a spent .45 caliber shell casing.



OK, I didn't specifically buy this stuff. (It'd have been funny if I had though. Take that, logic!) No, I bought an old camera and this stuff was in the camera bag the seller tossed in free. But I have one question, what kind of photographer carries ammo in their camera bag? The Chapstick and cold medication I can understand, but bullets?

The thing that really gets to me is that I'm going to have to toss out those two DayQuil capsules. I love pseudoephedrine. That's the good stuff, dammit! It's the only thing that really makes me feel halfway decent when I have a cold and now it's such a pain the ass to get. I'd keep them, but who knows how old they are. On the other hand, I have no qualms about tossing out the used tube of Chapstick.

Adventures in Toothpaste

Yes, adventures in toothpaste. If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you should know by now that I have "adventures" with things like toothpaste, old magazines, toenail clippers, and other boring crap I can't think of right now. Never will you read an entry where I talk about how stoked I was to climb up a 1,000 foot rock face with no safety line, or how cool it was it jump on stage at the Radiohead concert and run around taking my clothes off before the security guys beat the snot out of me. Nope. Not going to happen. I lead an extraordinarily dull life.

Anyway, toothpaste. A week or two back I mentioned a dollar store I shop in that sells all kinds of weird crap that's probably not intended to be sold in this country. Things like toothpaste from Indonesia.



Yes, I bought the toothpaste from Indonesia. And, believe it or not, I've actually been brushing my teeth with it for a week or more. It's pretty nice-tasting toothpaste. If you look at the back of the tube, you'll see it's also Halal. I don't know why I find that interesting, but I do.



Also, much to my horror, I've just noticed that one of the ingredients of this toothpaste is formaldehyde. What the fucking fuck, Indonesia? I've been putting this in my mouth for over a week. None of the other four tubes of toothpaste in my cabinet have formaldehyde in them, not even the Mexican Colgate.

[Long pause while I frantically search the internet to see if I've been poisoning myself.]

Here's a statement from Pepsodent's maker, Unilever of Indonesia, that deals with formaldehyde. So maybe I'm safe. Or maybe I'VE BEEN HORRIBLY POISONED!!!

Blowpens, pt. II

Yesterday I posted about the weird pack of Blowpens I'd bought at a dollar store. I couldn't muster up enough energy or enthusiasm to demonstrate how these things work yesterday, but now I can. Unfortunately, Blowpens kind of suck and half of them don't even work, but three of the colors did work. And so I present to you an original work of art I did using a custom stencil I made rather than using one of the boring stencils that came in the package.



This artwork is available for purchase. Interesting trades considered.

Ugh... First post of 2009

Doing stuff is too much trouble. [Long uncomfortable pause.] Anyway, here's the post I was supposed to write a few days ago. Last year, actually. Meh.

One of my favorite places to shop is a strange dollar store run by Middle Eastern folks. The merchandise is compromised of a bizarre mix of foreign stuff and typical low grade dollar store crap. Once I saw some plastic bags of Tide detergent where all of the writing was in Chinese. They have Pepsodent from Indonesia. (I'm not brave enought to try it. Yet.) Occasionally I'll stumble across something so peculiar I just have to buy it.



I have no idea where this was originally supposed to be sold, but it was made in China, the text uses the Cyrillic alphabet, but there's also some English. (The Cyrillic alphabet is used in the former Soviet Union and in Mongolia. See, learning is fun!)

I like how the instructions have the words "BLOWPENS INSTRUCTIONS" in English, but all of the rest is in Russian, Bulgarian, Mongolian, or whatever the hell language this is.



I was going to make a picture using the blow pens (which are actually kind of fun), but I just couldn't work up enough enthusiasm to bother.