Ugh, I think I'm going to have to do what I've been dreading and post a damn email address. Or put up a message-board. God, which is worse? If I post the email address then I'm going to be stuck sifting through tons of porno spam for the rest of my vile existence. Oh, all right, it's volume 22 at email dot com. Bite me, each and every one of you.

I don't typically become involved with politics, but occasionally something happens that so outrages me that I'm forced into action. I'm going to try my best to get someone in the North Carolina General Assembly to introduce legislation that, if signed into law, will result in repealing the driver's license of every single human being living in North Carolina. Yes, I know it's harsh, but they've been getting away with too much for far too long.

I live on the Virginia side of the Virginia/North Carolina state line and I get to observe North Carolinians in their natural habitat on an almost daily basis; these people do not understand speed limits, traffic lights, or turn signals. I've noticed that North Carolinians drive really, really fast when leaving North Carolina, but drive really, really slow when returning. It's almost like they can't wait to get out and want to prolong returning as much as possible. (And it's not like there's anything great on this side of the state line to want to come to anyway.)

This morning I was stuck behind a North Carolina driver who drove ten miles under the speed limit and then came to a dead stop at a green light. I don't know much if anything about driving in other countries, but in the U.S., a green light means "go" and a red light light means "stop". The yellow light is the transitional light between green and red that signals the driver to slow down because the light's about to change to red. The system's almost foolproof, almost. So, the only solution I see is to take away all the driver's licenses in North Carolina. Wish me luck.

I've been keeping a lookout for blogs written by people that are clearly insane, but I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for. A few minutes ago I stumbled onto Germanguy, who would fit the bill nicely if the blog wasn't so obviously a joke. Or at least I think it's a joke. Please tell me it's a joke.

I've noticed a lot of blogs have things on the side bars that list what the author's reading, listening to, etc. Maybe I should include this type of information so people can finally know the real me (and the idea of people being privy to such sensitive information kinda gives me the creeps). OK, what am I reading? [Long pause.] Nothing. I don't read books that much anymore. After years and years of consuming tons of literary novels, biographies, and essays, I've retired. What was the last novel I read? I know I read one not too long ago... What was it called? Oh, yeah... David Markson's This is not a novel. God, that was months ago. What am I currently listening to? The noisy-ass fans inside my PC. What MUSIC am I listening to? Does Wire's Pink Flag count? That's just about all I listen to these days. What was the last movie I watched? I seem to recall watching Beetlejuice (of all things) a month or so back. I don't watch movies that much anymore. What the hell do I do all day? I haven't the faintest idea.

The day after Thanksgiving is considered to be the first shopping day of Christmas. Stores have sales that begin at bizarre, inhuman times like 5 AM and everything's crowded beyond comprehension. Why people let themselves be manipulated into taking part in this orchestrated, almost ritualistic, lunacy escapes me. The day after Thanksgiving I make it a rule to never even leave the house if I don't have to. I went to the mailbox this morning, but that's it.

Having your blog listed in Blogger's "Fresh Blogs" list doesn't seem to do my site a bit of good. I've seen it listed there twice and no one hit my blog either time. Am I the only person who makes it a habit of prowling the list for something interesting (or Icelandic)? I'm always on the lookout for a diamond in the dungheap.

The sudden cold weather and encroaching holiday horror have been giving me flashbacks to last Christmas and the frigid weeks following it. Last year I didn't have a decent computer; I was using this thing, this abomination from the mid-90's I picked up at a thriftstore for $36 last November. No internet connection. My sister came into town for Christmas and loaded my junk shop PC with a version of Windows 95 of dubious legality. So my main memory of last Christmas, or rather last winter, is sitting in this room endlessly fiddling with that stupid computer while absolutely freezing my ass off.

In winter you could store meat in this room. Most of the time it isn't that bad, but when it gets cold it's intolerable. It's about 64°F in here now, which outside wouldn't be bad, but when I'm sitting in front of my computer in my pajamas I want it a bit warmer. And believe it or not, it gets even colder in here sometimes.

Turkeyday's over, but the leftovers remain.

I don't how long it'll be before I get the links list up. I pasted the early version of the list in a copy of my page, but when I looked at it in a browser everything was kind of screwed up. Back to the drawing board. My enthusiasm has waned considerably.

I hate big holidays. It's going to take me hours to recover from lunch because I ate my weight in turkey and mashed potatoes. And by the time I've digested the remains of the dead bird parts, it'll be time for dinner. I'm so bloated I didn't even have room for cake, and I live for cake.

I've been working on my links list a little and I've been having a hard time trying to decide what to put on it. I don't want a really long list like you see on some blogs because that's just overwhelming. There's only a handful of blogs I visit on a regular basis, and does anyone even give a rat's ass what blogs I read? One thing I don't want to do is link to the same damn high-traffic blogs every other bloghead links to. But I like some of those high-traffic blogs. Maybe I should just link to my favorite porn sites and be done with it, but I don't even have any favorite porn sites unless Robb's Celebs counts.

I never need to come up with excuses not to write; it's always too hot or too cold, the chair isn't comfortable, my head hurts, I'm too depressed, I'm too keyed up, I can't think of anything to write about, I don't have enough time, there's something on TV I'd rather watch, etc. Whereas years ago I thought nothing of staying up as late as I wanted, savoring some pointless subject on the page and absolutely enjoying it. Somewhere along the line navel-gazing and self-flagellation lost most of their appeal.

I don't think I'm coming down with a cold; it was just a false alarm. During the winter it gets so cold down here in this dungeon it's miraculous I've never gotten pneumonia.

To make matters worse, my computer flaked out on me while I was composing the entry below. I kept typing and then I noticed the mouse no longer worked. This happens on occasion with this wretched, buggy version of Linux and the only remedy I know of is to kill Xfree86 and reboot. Garbage! I managed to post the entry before I rebooted. Kill me now.

That's it for me with the really long posts. This thing was a nightmare to post and then edit. If I ever do anymore really long posts they're going to be broken up in separate files. And if there's any typos in the North Korea ramble they're going to have to stand; I'm not wrestling with it anymore.

Holiday Nostalgia for Communism

For years I've had an obsession with North Korea. I don't have the typical American-style North Korea obsession, which revolves around annihilating it because it's an evil commie menace, etc. No, what I have more bizarre. Even though I consider North Korea to be one of the most vicious states on earth (far, far worse than North Dakota), in a way I almost like it. Well, I don't like it, that's not the right word; I'm fascinated by it. To me it would be an absolute dream to tour North Korea. A communist Disneyland on a nationwide scale, imagine it! And since the North Koreans are so cash-strapped they should take advantage of what they have and turn it into a tourist Mecca: Commieland! I can think of a slogan: "Come to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, it's like no place on earth." But, no, they wouldn't do that, they have other methods of raising cash which I'll mention below.

I've listened to shortwave radio for over twenty years, and my obsession with North Korea comes from listening to English language broadcasts from Radio Pyongyang in my formative years. How can I describe a broadcast from Radio Pyongyang? Most people just dismiss it by saying that it's nothing but a bunch of dreary, heavy-handed, stiff propaganda, and they would be right, but there's an added element of the bizarre that kept me coming back. These programs were like picking up a transmission from Neptune because they had so little connection to what was happening on planet earth. If Western Europe mysteriously vanished overnight, Radio Pyongyang's main story would have something to do with the Great Leader President Kim Il Sung, despite the fact that the bastard has been dead for years. Imagine a broadcast so completely devoid of humor, irony, joy, or any recognizable human feelings and you might have an inkling of what Radio Pyongyang is like. Even during the Cold War Radio Moscow was downright goofy compared to what the North Koreans had to offer. Lots and lots of talk about things that didn't make any sense, poems about how great is to be living in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, patriotic songs from the Women's Choir of Tractor Building Plant No. 14, etc.

Below are few of the more interesting North Korea-related links I could dig up.

A journalist/travel writer named Simon Bone has a site that's a long account of his travels in North Korea. I don't typically like reading long stretches of prose online, but Bone's writing is fascinating stuff that didn't bore me in the least.

The North Koreans have started an online casino in a dotty scheme to raise money. (In his coffin, Karl Marx is spinning like a lathe.) (And, naturally, the site only displays properly if you use Internet Explorer.)

The North Koreans are also selling stuff like books and videos to raise money. They offer a cartoon entitled "Thermometer Seen By Pig" I'd love to see.

I've come to the horrible conclusion that I'm coming down with a cold. Just the thing I need during a holiday.

The warts and all North Korea piece is ready for launch.

I've been working on a big entry about my bizarre, long-running, obsession with North Korea. I hope to post it sometime later today if I can get this rambling monstrosity knocked into proper shape.

I give up on the damn font size thing. I hate this stupid big font, but it seems I'm stuck with it. Bastards!

I'd love to take advantage of all the extra buttons available to IE users while I'm here at school wasting time when I should be working on my desktop publishing homework, but I don't have a damn thing to say. But despite my total lack of inspiration, at least I can put something in italics for once. Or boldface. Hmmm... I've never tried this before, it seems to just automatically put in a few HTML tags which I can do manually without much difficulty. I can even link to something pointless like this. OK, I'll stop; even I have a limit to just how much stupidity I can dish out.

I have the next five days off because of the Thanksgiving holiday. I have to go back to school today for a couple of hours to do some work in the computer lab, but after that I'm free. Then what will I do? Will I get all that work done I need to do, or will I just goof off the the whole time? I don't even have to tell you the answer, do I?

Ever have one of those days where nothing works? (This one's been going on for about thirty-three years.) First I have all that trouble getting (and staying) online, then Blogger loses one of my posts during upload, and then I decide to retype the entry in AbiWord which crashed after I started typing. Please kill me.

I know you'd rather read a wacky entry, but I'm not exactly in a wacky mood these days. One thing you have to look forward to is a list of links that will go down the side of the page, where you'll find all my favorite blogs and other oddities (like maybe that site I found this morning which featured dead serious gay erotic short-stories about the characters on Dukes of Hazzard). I should be done with the links list sometime in the middle of next year, and I'm sure to have all kinds of trouble installing it since I have the IQ of garden snail.

I know you'd rather read a wacky entry than yet another dull one, but I'm not in the wackiest of moods these days. One thing you can look forward to is a list of links going down the left side of the page. I started on it last night and should be done with it next year probably. And then when I finish it I'll have tons of trouble installing it because I have the IQ of garden snail.